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[02 Jan 2007|09:52am] |
My word is not literature, or language, my word is the trees, the sun, the oceans, and the air. All of which you get more out of then some silly 'ol Creed. If you want to feel close to me, go outside, take a walk in the woods, or along the beach, or sit in the park, don't build temples and shrines or gather in large groups, walk alone or with the people you love.
Religion is the real Satan, dividing you, causing you to fear, and live just to die.
What if I told you I will judge and Atheist side by side with you, and justly? Would you stop your 'religion'?
If you have been a bad person, and the Atheist not, the Atheist will rise and you will fall? Would you then deny me?
Your books make me cruel and unfair, your books make me *human. You are not made in my image, for you have chosen another path, the path of greed all because of Religion.
I want to come down and lift you up, shake you and yell "LIVE!" but I will not, for a child must learn from their mistakes.
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| Today is your lucky day! |
[16 Aug 2006|11:38am] |
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Ask me one question about anything you have ever wanted to know!
-Yours respectfully,
God
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| Well... |
[30 May 2006|10:44am] |
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mood |
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 dirty |
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I hate to tell you this, but I'm not coming back to get you. I have decided to retire. My dumbass Son and I are moving to the Outer Realms to take up mini-golf, and go-kart racing with Mr. Roger's as our Tour Guide. I may stop In and kill a few assholes after the Holy war in 2009. Other than that I may update in a few weeks...
Peace (lol like thats going to happen)
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| God For President |
[15 Oct 2005|07:18pm] |
And God populated the earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach and green and yellow vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.
And Satan created McDonald's, and McDonald's brought forth the $3.20 double-cheeseburger, and Satan said to Man, "You want fries with that?", and Man said, "Super size them."
And Man gained pounds.
And God created the healthful yogurt, that Woman might keep her figure that Man found so fair.
And Satan froze the yogurt, and he brought forth chocolate, nuts and brightly colored sprinkle candy to put on the yogurt.
And Woman gained pounds.
And God said, "Try my crispy fresh salad."
And Satan brought forth creamy dressings, bacon bits, and shredded cheese, and there was ice cream for dessert.
And Woman gained pounds.
And God said, "I have sent you heart-healthy vegetables and olive oil with which to cook them."
And Satan brought forth chicken- fried steak so big it needed its own platter.
And Man gained pounds, and his cholesterol went through the roof.
And God brought forth running shoes, and Man resolved to lose those extra pounds.
And Satan brought forth cable TV with remote control so Man would not have to work to change channels.
And Man gained pounds.
And God said, "You're running up the score, Devil."
And God brought forth the potato, a vegetable naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition.
And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy centre into chips and deep-fat fried them. He created sour cream dip also, and Man clutched his remote control, and ate the potato chips swaddled in cholesterol.
And Satan saw that and said, "It is good."
And Man went into cardiac arrest.
And God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery...
And Satan created private health insurance ....
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| Because history is alive |
[21 Aug 2005|12:21am] |
You know I get asked a lot of questions everyday, usually the same ones. Most commonly I am asked, "Oh God, why are we here?" If I wasn't such a lazy bastard I would answer, though my voice when spoken causes deafness because it is so pure, eeerrrnnntt, thats a lie, an excuse, and believe me, it has worked. The reason you are here is actually quite simple, so simple in fact the answer is on the back of a jell-o gelitan box. Another of my fav questions is, when am I coming back? You know that guy at the gas station up the street who stands outside the door, just hanging out, thats me, the old lady who drives real slow infront of you when you are in a hurry, thats me, the old man with the pennies unrolled at the bank who always gets to 56 and forgets his place, thats not me, thats just fucking annoying. I put myself in places to test you, no, to annoy you, just like you do me with all those dumb questions that if you knew the answers, would that even help you be less of a piece of shit... noooo.
Lucifer and I were having a spot of tea the other day and we got on the topic of direct tv vs cable, thats sort of a metaphor of him and I. I'm of course Direct, in the sky always going out in a time of distress, heavy storms, right before the super bowl, and Luci/ cable, more costly if you watch it, less channels, same re-runs, same bitch over and over.
I don't know...
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| Jesus was not my son |
[19 Jul 2005|01:34pm] |
I never paid child support, and I never killed him, I'm still waiting on the insurance money from Paul...
Now he's up here, wanting quality time, take him fishing, teach him to drive a car, I said "Look, G', I ain't yo daddy."
But really, Joe and Your mom had anal and it leaked. You were covered in shit an swam up your mommy's cunt... but I get the blame... Did I mention you were covered in shit, I'd be embarrassed if I were you.
He just smiles and says "Oh dad, you silly goose!"
I'm not playing G, if you were my son, I wouldn't name you Jesus, I'd name you Dick, because thats how you are acting. Life a big ol...
So I give him $5 and tell him to go bug Gabe and get him to take him to a Holiday Inn so he can go swim, aka free bath for the shit baby.
Why would I kill him, I knew how annoying he was, it was suicide, poetic justice in his beady eyes
I'm still waiting on that money.
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